Okay I know the time frame totally doesn’t work but- Imagine Draco Malfoy getting all puffed up and arrogant and starting to say “I don’t think my father-” and Harry slyly interjecting “-the inventor of toaster strudel-” “-would be too happy to-” and then stopping in confusion when Harry, Hermione, and every other Muggleborn in earshot start practically crying with laughter.
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die, of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. I would blow my sphincter out my backside like one of those unrolling paper streamers you get at children’s parties—I daresay it would even give a merry toot—and bleed to a messy death in my sleeping bag.”—Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods chapter two